There are times when we as parents must do things we feel are in the best interest of our children but run counter to our kids' desires. For example, Madison (my toddler) wanted her Chapstick, but when we gave it to her without the cap, we were greeted with a thermonuclear meltdown. She didn't understand why she couldn't have the cap. She just knew she wanted the cap, but we weren't letting her have it.
"Which one of you would hand his son a stone when he asks for a loaf of bread, or a snake when he asks for a fish? If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good things to those who ask him."
Matthew 7:9-11
My children are ages 12, 9, and 2. The range in their ages affords me with a couple of benefits. I'm able to capitalize on the lessons I've learned so far while parenting Trey and Alli, my older kids.
Instead of automatically telling Madison, "No," I articulate what it is that I want her to do. When she plays too rough with the cats, I say, "Rub Amelia gently, like this," and then I show her what I mean. I'm also able to apply the new techniques I'm learning with Madison to interact more effectively with Trey and Alli. As they grow older and are more influenced by their own social networks, it behooved me to be more creative in how I communicate with them. Instead of relying on dinner conversations, I complement our communication by sending them my thoughts in emails and text messages.
Regardless of the particular methods you use to parent your own children, rely on our heavenly Father to be a leader in your household. Although I was born with original sin, I was also blessed to be born with a brilliant example of fatherhood in my own father. I have modeled my outlook to parenting on his resilient demeanor. Even still, I know that I parent imperfectly, yet I understand how to love my children. As their father, I relish in my role as their protector, their guardian. I know that my influence in their lives will continue to place me at the crossroads between bliss and tantrum. In the case of Madison, she melted down for the cap, but she also melts my heart when she says, "Dank you, Daddee!"
To all of my fellow fathers in the world, Happy Fathers’ Day! I tip my hat to you for stepping up to the challenge as well as to the rewards of parenthood. Take advantage of this day. Rejoice in the memories of when your children refused your help with putting on their shoes (at least initially), and celebrate when they aggressively reached for your hand to walk up and down the stairs. The best gift we can give our family is love, and today is one day in the year dedicated to their love for you.
Amen.
By Allen Gradnigo
By Allen Gradnigo
