All the Little Children
I never thought I would be an overprotective mom. My mother raised me to be independent and I want the same for my little daughter Madison. However, once I became a mother, I felt differently. I am constantly worried about something happening to Madison (or something happening to me and leaving her without a mother). I asked my mentor if things ever change and she informed me that they do not. The one time she didn’t attend a class trip for her boys, the teachers lost her son (thankfully only for several minutes). My mother told me she didn’t sleep well the entire year I was in Iraq (I was 37). And then the tragedy in Connecticut.
I was sitting on our hotel bed in St. Thomas last Friday while my little girl slept peacefully beside me. I turned on the TV and my heart leapt. I hoped what I was seeing wasn’t real. I sat there stunned with tears flowing and my body heaving. I looked at Madison’s angelic face and couldn’t imagine the pain the mothers of those children must be experiencing.
Lunch last week with a good friend helped me cope. He said he sees the fallen children on the lap of Jesus Christ. I hope the mothers in Connecticut receive this same vision. It’s difficult to understand why such horrible things happen. I don’t think we should look for an explanation. All we can do is appreciate what blessings we have at this moment. Madison was born with a strong spirit but 2 ½ years has proven quite frustrating for us all on many days. Since the tragedy in CT, Allen and I more often remember just what a miracle is our girl and find strength in her character.
Christmas is my favorite season. I love to decorate, attend parties, host people, bake cookies and even shop. I don’t become blue, I don’t feel stressed. This year I bought too much for everyone. But it’s this year that I am more thankful for the love I am able to give and receive. I learned a few years ago that life is short when my best friend lost her soul mate at only 50 years and after only 5 years together. That touched close to my heart. This year my heart was almost broken by the loss of God’s children, but it made me realize that we don’t have everyone forever and we must love each other deeply.
This Christmas season, remember that Christ died for us and loves us.
